


dream a little dream of me [for now]

by sunset_lae



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Barista Tobin, Eventual Smut, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Romance, Soft gaysss, no soccer AU, possible angst, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:48:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22994227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunset_lae/pseuds/sunset_lae
Summary: sure she had seen some pretty girls in her time, but this one felt different./aka tobin heath and christen press meet and immediately fall in love
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 34
Kudos: 163





	1. one: those eyes can hypnotize

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first attempt at writing fanfic so please bear with me and my flaws :)  
> recommendations and comments are welcomed! planning on making this a longer, ongoing fic, enjoy! 
> 
> song: look what god gave her by thomas rhett

As Christen searched through her bags, her movements were frantic. It had been a rough morning, to say the least. On top of the piles of work she had yet to complete and locking herself out of her apartment, she had just misplaced her phone. She knew it would turn up, it always did, but the craziness of her day so far had left her mind spinning in neverending circles, and this just added on to her troubles.

She thought stepping into the quaint Portland coffee shop would help ease her nerves, although the beautiful brown-eyed girl that poured her coffee and called her name left her even more apprehensive.

\--

Tobin found her eyes locked upon her for what was definitely a suspicious amount of time as the girl quickly noticed and looked right up at her. Sure she had seen some pretty girls in her time, but this one was different.

> And those eyes can hypnotize
> 
> Was designed to blow my mind

_Oh shit_ , she thought, quickly spinning around pretending to make a drink for a non-existent customer. She tried to calm herself down but the few seconds of eye contact left her absolutely dumbfounded. The bell rang as another customer walked in.

 _Snap out of it!_ she tried to tell herself. Tobin couldn’t let a silly crush mess her up so badly. She knew though, internally, that the girl’s eyes alone sent her into a wild state of mind that quite honestly scared the living daylights out of her. Somehow the brown-haired woman pulled herself together, casually took the new order, but when she saw the girl rise from her seat and head towards the counter she knew she was utterly fucked.

“Hi,” said the girl. She had her coffee in hand from earlier. Luckily, for Tobin, her coworker was manning the register at that time.

“Hey,” Tobin muttered quickly under her distressed state. “Uhh what can I get for you?” She questioned, remembering she had a job to do.

“Could I please get a refill?” Christen said and flashed a quick smile, leaving Tobin at a loss.

There was an awkward pause for a second as Tobin collected herself enough to respond. “Yeah of course!” She spit out hastily as she reached out for the empty coffee cup. Tobin then turned around to fulfill the girl’s need as she cut in, “What’s your name?” Tobin was surprised by the question, imagining the girl had zero interest in her.

“I’m Tobin,” she replied.

“Nice to meet you, Tobin, I’m Christen.” Christen then winked and swiftly took the coffee refill and to walk back to her window seat by the door. _Did she really just wink at me?_ she thought. She wasn’t quite sure exactly what just happened, but all she knew was that _Christen_ was the prettiest girl her eyes had ever grazed.

> Got that look in her eyes
> 
> Swear she fell right out the sky

\--

Christen left the coffee shop in a better state than when she walked in. Although she had yet to get her hands back on her phone, she tracked it down via her laptop and was almost certain she had left it back at the lecture hall. It was a bit of a walk back over there, but the Portland sun was out for once and she figured some fresh air would help calm her down. She was currently studying at the University of Portland to become a psychotherapist, a job she could see herself doing since she was a young girl. Of course, she had her own problems to deal with, though working with others and being a voice of support was something that made her feel worthwhile.

She wished she had her phone with her to bother her mind with some calming music but she figured her thoughts would have to do for now. Walking down the wide, smooth sidewalks of the city she thought back to the interactions that went down just minutes prior. She wasn't quite sure what came over her when she winked at the other girl and whether she should be angry at herself or proud for being so forward. An action like that was not typical of Christen- she was used to just hanging back and letting others drive the mood of social situations. She decided to be pleased as she hoped to see the barista sometime soon.

\--

The rest of her shift was not the same. Tobin felt like a young child just having their first crush, full of jitters and slightly awkward. Thinking back to the interaction, she felt like she had embarrassed herself in some way and wished she had done something more. _Oh well, there are many pretty girls out there, especially in the gay wonderland that is Portland, OR_ she tried to tell herself. But deep down, she knew Christen had something different about her- A radiance that she noticed in just a sole interaction.


	2. two: nothing else I would rather do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yoga time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song: impatiently falling by adam ragsdale

Christen Press loves a good routine. It was late September, meaning she was just getting settled into her life as a graduate student in Portland, and it felt good. Wake up at eight. Class at nine. Lunch after class. Study. Yoga at five. She was used to it at this point. Although each day brought new adventures, Christen always left time for herself. Yoga and meditation keep her going every day. Without the two, her mind would run wild into oblivion.

—

To anyone that saw her, Tobin wouldn’t seem to be the yoga type. To Tobin, she wasn’t the yoga type. But she saw a flyer advertising an evening class in the coffee shop and thought, _Why not? What would be the worst thing that could happen? She falls flat on her face amongst a group of strangers while trying to crazy pose?_

And that’s what led her to 82nd Ave at 5 pm on a Tuesday night.

Tobin got let off work at four and biked home to her apartment to get changed into what she thought would be suitable for a class of what she expected to be full of millennial women trying to hop onto a growing craze - black leggings and the only crop top she had (yet was actually just the one her best friend, Kelley, had left in her apartment a few weeks before).

Maybe she went a little over the top, but she even bought her own yoga mat and a matching cobalt insulated water bottle to fit in. As she parked and walked into the studio she had a few nerves, but they quickly mollified as the wide grin of the yoga instructor greeted her. “Hello!” She exclaimed. “I’m guessing you are here for the 5 pm class?”

“Yep, it’s my first time, I’m Tobin,” she replied.

“Nice to meet you, Tobin, my name is Lauren. You can place your mat down wherever you like, we’ll get started in about five minutes,” she said with a wide grin and retreated to the front of the space.

Tobin set herself up in the back of the room in order to draw the least amount of attention to herself, but when she saw the green-eyed coffee shop girl prance into the room and sit down right beside her, she knew it would be a long class.

Much to Tobin's dismay, Christen didn’t even notice who she was sitting directly beside at first. The graduate student was usually quite reticent in the classes, not wanting to irritate anyone else. She glanced up from her phone after getting settled on her sea-green mat and quickly recognized the brunette- _Oh fuck;_ she thought. _What if she thinks I’m a creep after what happened a few mornings back? And now it looks like I'm stalking her._

Soon after realizing, the two girls made eye contact and Tobin flashed her a quick but flawless, shining smile.

“Oh hey! You’re the barista from Roast 8th, right?”

“Yep that would be me,” She responded.

“Tobin right?”

“Mhmm, it’s my first yoga class, maybe you could offer me some tips- assuming you’ve done this before?”

“For sure! Yoga is kind of my special thing, I joined a few weeks back and now I come here three times a week, not to say I'm an expert of any sort- leave that up to Lauren” Christen said with a smile.

“Wow! Well then it looks like I’m sitting next to the right person,” Tobin mentioned before Lauren interrupted their conversation to begin the class. Their eyes met for a brief second before they both focused on Lauren at the front of the room.

The class goes well, Tobin thinks. She doesn't embarrass herself greatly, and Christen offers her a few helpful tips much to her liking. Class ends, and Christen is courageous enough to tap Tobin on the shoulder. “Hey, uh I’m kinda new around here, do you know if there are any smoothie bars nearby?” Tobin smiles.

“Yeah! There’s quite a few, mind if I tag along? A smoothie sounds great right now.” Tobin was nervous but thought she should take the opportunity.

Christens eyes lit up. “Of course not, I would actually really appreciate that!”

On their way out the door, a blonde woman stopped Christen. “Oh hey Chris, didn't even notice you here today! Good class, huh?”

“Yep! You know me hiding in the back row. Also, Jess, meet Tobin! She might join the class assuming today wasn’t horrible.”

“How Wonderful! Nice to meet you! I’m Jessica, but call me Jess,” She said with a wide grin and handshake.

“Nice to meet you as well. I had a good time, I'm positive you’ll see me back here again,” and with that, the two went on their way.

The walk was short but surely filled with a few awkward pauses and some butterflies on the sides of both girls. It wasn’t an official date, but the unspoken tension in the air sure made it feel like one.

A bell rang when Tobin opened the door. The smoothie bar was brightly lit and filled with modern decor. Soft music was playing from the speakers as a tall blue-eyed man greeted the pair at the counter. “This is a cute place,” Christen quickly whispered. The two strolled up to the counter as the man took their orders. Christen insisted on paying as Tobin “Went to all the effort of taking her there.” It wasn’t without some argument, but Tobin eventually conceded to the curly-haired woman.

“Do you have anywhere to be right now?” Asked Christen after they picked up their drinks.

“Nope, don’t have any plans, I’m all yours,” Tobin said with a grin.

“Cool,” Christen noticed her cheeks blushing, “Wanna walk for a bit?”

She nodded, “I’d love that.”

“So what brought you to Portland?” questioned Tobin as they walked out the door.

“Well I grew up in LA, and got my undergraduate degree at Stanford, but I wanted a change of scenery so I came up here to get my masters at UofP. I’m studying to become a talk therapist. I just got here last month.”

“So I guess I’ve got a genius on my hands, Miss Stanford,” Tobin teased. 

"Well, I definitely wouldn’t say that…” Christen responded, her cheeks now a bit flushed. “Have you always lived here?”

“Yeah kinda, I grew up a few hours away near the coast, but I’ve been here for the last five years. I actually went to UofP for college, graduated two years back.”

“And you just stayed?” asked Christen. She didn’t want to sound rude but wondered why she didn’t want to branch out and venture off somewhere else.

“Pretty much. Portland is like home to me, It felt right to settle down here while I figure out exactly what I want to do with my life,” She said with a laugh.

“Nice! Well, you definitely seemed to be enjoying your job as a barista from what I saw.”

“Yep, it’s a chill environment. Fits me well, I guess,” Tobin noted as they made eye contact for a moment. The two held it for probably a second too long as Tobin got lost in the beautiful girl's eyes. She was definitely Tobin's type. Adorable smile, perfect rounded curls, dreamlike eyes- her intense natural beauty floored her and she just had to say something.

> Tell me baby, do you know how beautiful
> 
> You really are?

“I think you’re pretty, Christen,” Tobin admitted. It just slipped out of her mouth and she regretted it immediately as Christen looked to be panicking internally.

—

Thoughts flooded Christen’s mind. _OMG. Pretty barista girl just went to get smoothies with me and told me I’m pretty. What is life? Oh crap, I never responded._

“Well, I might just be thinking the same about you.” She said it with a smile that made Tobin go wild. It ran through her and lifted her own mood. It was becoming one of her favorite sights in the world. It’s brightness forced Tobin to realize her obsession- she knew she could never get enough of this girl. She wanted to see it all hours of the day and all days of the year. She just knew it.

> And I will fall in love, in love with you
> 
> There is nothing else I would rather do

As they walked, and the sunlight got more limited, the tension faded. “I better get going,” Mentioned Tobin. Christen's pure beauty was getting to be a bit too much for her, and she knew she was about to pass out if she didn’t excuse herself. “But I had a wonderful time today, thanks for the yoga tips,” She said with a laugh. “Hope to see you at another yoga class soon.” Before turning around to head back to her she offered a flirty wink and held out a quirky peace sign, and with that went on her way.

“See ya later, Tobin.”

As the brunette walked away, Christen wished she would’ve worked up the courage to get her number, but somehow, she knew they’d see each other again soon, with or without a number.

> Now I will fall in love, in love with you
> 
> There is nothing else I would rather do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoping to write a lot this weekend! enjoy this chapter!


	3. three: uncontrollable feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoyyyyy!
> 
> song: feelings by joseph tilley

It was a dark and gloomy Friday morning, hints of greyness suggested rain in the day to come. Typically Tobin loved Portland’s sunless skies, but after weeks without sun she was missing the sun’s warmth on her skin. For this reason, getting up for work was a tough feat. After three snoozed alarms, she climbed out of her cozy surroundings and let her feet hit the cold hardwood flooring of her downtown Portland condo. 

The walk to work was always a good time for her to wake up and feel the cool morning breeze in peace. She had just moved into a new place back in August, and the ability to walk to the coffee shop was a main attraction to her new building. Portland was a lovely place in the early mornings, Tobin thoroughly enjoyed walking amongst the hurrying people and between the lines of cars beginning a new day. 

As she walked into the shop, her happy-go-lucky coworker, Joe, kindly greeted her. “Morning, Tobs! Ready for a lengthy six-hour shift?”

“Considering the few hours of sleep got, no, but I know we’ll make it through.” She said with a self-deprecating smile as she offered him a quick fist bump.

Customers started flowing in as the crowds picked up around 9 am. The rush-hour crowds were always real. Tobin worked swiftly, as she was used to the monotonous order of tasks: take order, collect payment, ask name, pour drink. Her job was fairly easy, but she was growing weary because of her lack of sleep. Her mood completely shifted at exactly 9:32 am when the one and only Christen Press strolled in through the main door.

“Look who it is!” Tobin exclaimed with a smile masking her tiredness. It was a small smile but still made Christen weak in the knees. 

“I had a feeling I might see you here.”

“I bet you internally think our coffee sucks and you just showed up for me.”

“Incorrect, I enjoy the coffee **and** the employees here”

"Employees plural?" Questioned Tobin. "Sorry, but Joe's taken."

The line was fairly long so their flirty conversation had to end, but it was long enough to have brightened Tobin’s mood dramatically. Luckily, she had remembered Christen’s preferred brew from the week before and began fixing it for her. Handing it over the counter Christen asked, “Will I see you at yoga tonight?”

“Wasn’t planning on it, but now that I know you’ll be there, I’m in.”

“Great!”

“How does an early dinner sound afterward? One of my favorite sushi places is over near the studio,” Tobin questioned.

“Sounds perfect, It’s a date,” Christen murmured and hurried out the door.

 _A date? Does that mean what I think it does?_ The following 3 hours were a breeze, her mind consumed with her afternoon plans. Lucky for her, she didn’t have to worry about what to wear as they would just be in their yoga clothes. 

Tobin felt like a kindergartener kid pining after their first love.

But then again, Christen was drop-dead gorgeous and her looks alone justified that kind of infatuation.

\--

Christen didn’t understand how Tobin continues to make her so bold. Something about those deep chocolate-colored eyes, their glint of mystery and warmth transformed her. It was all an enigma. But leaving the coffee shop to head towards her child psychology class she felt a sense of self-assurance deep inside her that no past relationship had ever uncovered.

\--

Yoga went well. The two sat next to each other again, and Tobin got to chat with Christen’s yoga BFF, Jess, more. Fortunately, with their help, she was even starting to get a hang of the yoga thing. Though nowhere near as flexible as the other women in the room, her technique had improved from just one session. As they walked out, the girls said their goodbyes to Jess, and she shot Christen a knowing look. That made the grad student chuckle as her new yoga-loving friend was seeing inside her all too well. They then headed out of the studio towards the sushi restaurant Tobin had suggested.

The conversation was light at dinner as the two had just met a week before and they were just getting to know each other. Topics included the sports they played as children (both enjoyed soccer the most), favorite ice cream flavor, and other meaningless points of conversation. They shared a few rolls of sushi, each one picked out by Tobin. Christen was as happy can be. Tobin’s laugh was slow and warm, reminded Christen of honey- aligned perfectly with her brilliant smile, which evoked butterflies in the pit of her stomach. Her feelings for the girl sitting across from her became uncontrollable.

As they consumed their last couple pieces of sushi, the waitress passed by to hand over the check. Both girls fought over it but Christen’s internal competitiveness got the best of her date. 

“You brought me here, so you have to let me pay,” Christen reasoned.

“Ok, but under one condition,” she started. “Let me take you out on an actual date.”

“Easy enough,” replied Christen. As they walked out of the restaurant, Christen was ecstatic as in just a short few days she was getting to know Tobin better and even better they were now going on an official date. She tried to conceal the intense warmth and happiness that filled her soul, but she knew it showed through.

As they headed back towards their cars near the yoga studio, Christen felt a small impulse overcome her, “Hey- um it’s Friday night and I don’t have anywhere else to be, do you want to come back to my apartment and watch a movie?” she asked nervously. A few regretful thoughts leaked into her mind as the words spilled out, but Tobin’s response put her at ease (sort of).

“Of course,” was all Tobin said back as the two reached the parking lot.

“Ok well I only have one parking space over there, so I’ll drive and I can bring you back to your car later tonight if that works.”

“Perfect.” _Just like you_ , Tobin thought, internally.

\--

Tobin almost fell asleep during the short ride to Christen’s place. But the sweet music and lyrics playing from Christen’s car speakers kept her awake.

> You got these feelings that I can’t control
> 
> And girl I want you for my very own

Christen may or may not have played the song on purpose. 

\--

A short moment later, the women arrived at Christen’s apartment and park in the lower garage. As the elevator door shut, there was an absolute stillness that put Tobin on edge. She moved her eyes up from her feet, meeting Christen’s forest-like eyes, they were so soft yet she could see into their depths. Something about the intense gaze left her desiring more.

As they exit the elevator, Christen then gets anxious about the state of her place. “Just to warn you, I just moved in last month, so the walls are kind of bare. I hate the way it looks, but hopefully, I’ll get a few free days here soon to fix it up a little more,” Christen mentioned with a worried look on her face. 

“I’m sure it’s perfect, I can tell you have high standards, I mean you went to Stanford,” Tobin said with a smirk. A champagne pink tint overcame Christen’s cheeks at the comment. Tobin found it adorable.

Reaching the end of the hall, Christen unlocked the door and motioned Tobin into her house.

The girl’s previous comment was definitely an overstatement. “Christen, it’s wonderful! I love the big windows.” She wasn’t lying. Christen really did have high standards.

“So should I make some popcorn? Or do we just want to start a movie?”

“Popcorn sounds great, thanks!”

Christen prepared the popcorn as Tobin sat down to chill on the couch. “What movie are we thinking?” Tobin asked.

 **We** _._ It was a simple word and meant nothing, but Christen loved the sound of it.

“There’s a new drama film on Netflix I wanted to see. Jess watched it with her husband last week and said it was great.”

After she made the popcorn, Christen sat down on the couch, close to Tobin, but not touching. She dimmed the lights a bit and set up the movie as they both relaxed.

They were both pretty quiet throughout the film. There were a few comments here in there, but they kept to themselves for a lot of the movie. As the conclusion neared, Christen noticed Tobin get a little sleepy. The brunette shut her eyes and Christen knew she should wake her up and offer to drive her back to her car, but something just could not bring her to do it. So instead, she grabbed a few blankets from her linen closet to cover Tobin up- including the one her mom knitted for her before college. She smiled widely at the domesticity of it all.

\--

Christen walked out into her living room the next morning and had completely forgotten about Tobin sleeping on the couch. When her eyes reached Tobin, she could not get over how adorable she looked in her sleep. Although she felt like a creep, Christen admired her beautiful lengthy lashes and well-defined cheekbones. 

She thought it would be a good idea to cook some breakfast for the two, secreting hoping the aroma would wake Tobin up from her deep sleep and it surely did. 

\--

When Tobin opened her eyes, her location immediately confused her. The coolness of the air and the sweet fragrance alarmed her as she too had forgotten the events of the night before. The brunette felt bad for not leaving Christen’s apartment last night. She apologized, but Christen cut her off, “Oh it’s fine! I didn’t want to wake you up last night, and I enjoy the company.” Christen reasoned with a smile and a hearty laugh. Tobin immediately felt grateful that she had found such an amazing (and beautiful) human to be in her life. Christen cooked up some scrambled eggs, which they had on the side of avocado toast. She figured considering Tobin’s lean and muscular body, it seemed like a good meal. 

“Thank you so much for making breakfast for me, this is wonderful!” Tobin exclaimed mid-bite. 

“Of course- anything to make you stay a little longer.” The flirtatious hints Tobin got from Christen made her so happy and gave her some hope for the relationship. She felt like she wasn’t the only one crushing hard. 

\--

After they finished eating and Christen changed into an appropriate outfit for the day, the two left to drive downtown so Tobin could get her car. 

Mid-drive Tobin boldly mentioned their upcoming date, “So how do you feel about me getting your number so I can text you about a time for our date.”

“I actually feel pretty good about that,” Replied Christen, cooly.

Soon after they arrived, Tobin handed Christen her phone to put in her number. After she gave it back, Tobin grabbed her yoga mat and hopped out of the car as she yelled “See you soon! Thanks for breakfast!”

“I hope so!” replied Christen in response.

As she climbed into her Volvo, Tobin opened up to her new contact which was labeled “Crush.” _Really Christen?_ She gigged at the meaning of it all. She was definitely sly, to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! please leave song recs/chapter ideas/thoughts about where you want the story to go below if you have them!


	4. four: love it when you call me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christen has a slight "issue"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hola! i had meant to post this chapter a while back, but never got to editing it! new update should come very soon as i have wayyy too much time on my hands. hope everyone reading this is safe and healthy! - please stay home <3
> 
> song: love the rain by zachary knowles
> 
> also ik the bachelor doesn't air on sundays but just go wth it

To: Crush 

You think you’re so slick, don’t ya Christen?

New Message 11:16 am: Crush

I mean, yeah.. and it makes me giggle that every time I text you it will pop up as ‘Crush’ ;)

Tobin glanced down as her phone as she walked into her apartment, grinning like a fool at the light banter. She probably looked insane with her tangled hair, smeared makeup, and wrinkled clothing all caused by the events of the night before. 

She had the day off and figured she could use the extra time to arrange an extra special date. Tobin wanted to make it something neither girl would ever forget, as in her eyes, the details of a first date could make or break the relationship. She recognized that with Christen, it presumably didn’t matter, but she toiled over the refined details nonetheless. At first, she was uncertain of what exactly they could do. But then she recalled that Christen hadn’t been in Portland long and most likely had yet to experience the classic stopping points of the city. Well on her way to finalizing the plans for her ideal date, she received a text from her college best friend, Kelley.

New Message 12:46 am: Kelley

Hey, Tobs! I miss ya- coffee???

To: Kelley

Sure! Meet me down at 8th in 30, been missing U too.

\--

The two went on coffee dates often (Tobin liked to think Kelley only hung out with her as she got free coffee) but they hadn’t been able to in a while since her friend had been traveling more for work. Kelley’s invitation impeded into Tobin’s elaborate date preparations, but she figured she could use some fresh air and BFF time. Tobin quickly showered and flung on some black ripped jeans, an oversized graphic tee, some tan flip flops, and was on her way. The Portland air was an ideal complement of summer’s heat and fall’s cool breezes. Autumn was her favorite season to be in the city as the falling golden leaves fit admirably with the aged brick buildings that permeated her neighborhood.

“Kelleyyyyy! Wassuppp,” She exclaimed as soon as she saw her leaning up against the building’s weathered stone walls.

“Hey Tobs, missed ya,” responded Kelley as she leaned in for a tight hug. Kelley’s hugs could never be long enough for Tobin; they were undeniably some of the best around. 

All the indoor tables were full, but the weather was fair and a few outside tables were clear, so the women grabbed a small wooden table sandwiched between two working college students. After some rumination, Tobin ordered them both iced almond milk lattes with caramel flavoring.

Tobs and Kel were absolutely an iconic duo. They were your stereotypical freshman year roommates turned lifelong BFFs. After graduation, they both stuck around in Portland. Kelley found a position with a travel advisory company soon after, which had pushed her to be on the go more. They would text on the regular and facetime on the occasion that their schedules lined up, but Tobin could always sense the void in her life when Kelley was absent. Her presence just couldn’t be filled.

Joe, Tobin’s coworker, dropped by a few moments after they settled down outside to hand over their drinks.

“Thanks, Joe!” called out Tobin’s freckled friend as he retreated inside.

“Anytime, Kel!” Joe yelled back.

“So, Tobs. I know you’re dying to hear about my time in Thailand, but I’m seriously tired of recalling my whole trip on repeat, so what have you been up to?”

“Everything’s been chill. Some old same old. But I joined a yoga class…” Tobin mentioned, unsure of what Kelley’s response would be.

“Ooh okay. Never saw you as the yoga type, but you never fail to surprise a girl.” Kelley giggled.

“Anddddd, I might have met the most beautiful girl there,” Tobin said with a smirk. She probably should’ve waited to mention Christen as she had zero clue how things would end up, though she couldn’t help herself. Also, Kelley could always sense when something was up, so she would have uncovered Tobin’s crush eventually.

“TOBIN POWELL… AND YOU DIDN’T BOTHER TO TELL ME RIGHT AWAY???”

“I mean, it was just last week. And we’ve only hung out like once outside of yoga.” (if she were being precise, twice but she didn’t bother to recollect all the details) “But it will please you to know that I am planning to ask her on a date.”

“Tobin! I am so happy for you!” She practically screamed. “So may I ask what’s this mystifying girl’s name is?”

“Christen,” Tobin said, her eyes sparkling with hope and a smile spread across her face like she had won the lottery.

Kelley could faintly see how Christen was affecting Tobin, and it looked awfully familiar. 

\--

After the girls said their goodbyes and made dinner plans for the next week, Tobin strolled back to her apartment to chill and wrap up her date plans. It was Saturday; she didn’t really want the date to be Sunday, but she knew she couldn’t wait til the following weekend. So, she completed her date plans full of jittered nerves and then hesitantly sent Christen a message.

To: Crush (Christen)

Hey- taking you up on that date you owe me. How does 3pm tomorrow sound? I’ll pick you up.

She took a few minutes to respond, and Tobin started to get a bit apprehensive.

New Message 4:01 pm: Crush (Christen)

Sounds great. See you then ;)

New Message 4:02 pm: Crush (Christen)

Can’t wait another day, huh? 

To: Crush (Christen)

Uhhh maybeee

The short text conversation ended there. Tobin took a deep breath as she walked out to enjoy the breezy September afternoon on her balcony. Her soul felt steady just sitting there in the silence as she embraced her serene mental state.

\--

Meanwhile, at Christen’s place, she was excited for a restful night in. She had plans to do a face mask, make a home-cooked meal, and watch the new Bachelor episode. Although she didn’t look the type, Christen never, emphasis on never, missed an episode. It was her guilty pleasure that she indulged in every Sunday as the clock struck 8. As she grilled the chicken, torrential rain poured from the sky in dense sheets. For some, rain was a source of anxiety, but Christen loved every aspect of it. The complexity of nature always amazed her and never failed to provide her with a peace of mind. 

She finished preparing her meal with just over a half-hour until the start of The Bachelor. Minutes after she sat down to eat, her lights flickered off, indicating that the violent storms had taken her power.

_Fuck._ Christen thought. 

She couldn’t remember the last time her power had gone out. _How the hell am i supposed to watch The Bachelor now????_ She felt like such a loser as the silly thought ran through her mind. But then she got an idea- calling9 Tobin. Without giving herself a moment to rethink her impulsive action, she picked up her phone and clicked through to Tobin’s freshly formed contact. 

“Hello???” Christen said in a frantic tone as Tobin accepted the call

“Hey Christen, you good?” Tobin picked up on the strange manner of her voice.

“Yeah, fine thanks. Did your power just go out?”

“Nope.”

“Well uh,” Christen stuttered, trying to get words out. “This is an embarrassing question but uh mine just did and I was planning to watch The Bachelor at 8…” She started.

Tobin figured what the girl was about to ask so she cut in, “So do you want to come watch here?” 

“Yes!!!” Christen replied a bit too enthusiastically. “And if you don’t tease me for liking the show, I’ll bring over some ice cream.”

“You can bring ice cream, but I will still tease you,” Tobin mentioned with a laugh.

“Ok, fine. See you soon. Also, I’ll need your address- you’ll be happy to know I have not stalked you online, so I don’t have it.”

“Wow, that is great to hear. Sending it right now, see ya, Christen!” Tobin responded as she ended the call. 

She wasn’t sure why it was so funny, but Tobin starting laughing after she hung up. Christen seemed so distressed all over a silly TV show and small power outage- the fact made Christen even more adorable to her. At first, Tobin was a bit sad as she kinda wanted the next time they saw each other to be on the infamous first date, but concluded they could get more comfortable being together this way.

> I love the rain fall  
>  I love it when you call me

Tobin tried her best not to make fun of Christen for her liking of the show, but the rose tint of embarrassment that filled her cheeks seemed to encourage her. The women sat there on Tobin’s small suede brown couch, both huddled under fuzzy blankets as the storms came through her part of town. Christen had her eyes glued to the screen, though Tobin kept her eyes fixated on a certain green-eyed beauty. She internally hoped she wouldn’t notice, but when the show went to a commercial break, Christen glanced over with a knowing look. She giggled softly as she picked up on Tobin’s eyes and their adoring gaze. 

Tobin sat through the show, wishing that she was cuddled up with Christen, arms and legs intertwined in each other’s warmth. Whether she was the big or little spoon was of no importance to her; she just wanted to feel a connection with her obsession. The well-reasoned half of her kept in mind that it was far too early and that she would have that experience to look forward to. Christen's presence on the stormy night was like no other; Tobin felt so full of happiness in the moment.

> I love the rain fall  
>  And I love it when we're talking  
>  Until it's the end of it  
>  I don't wanna go right now, no  
>  We catch each other stalling

The two of them finished the entire pint of crème brûlée ice cream- Tobin was one to keep a clean diet but figured she would let it pass just because her Christen’s first time in her apartment was a special circumstance. 

No one fell asleep this time, and after the show ended and the tumult of the storm had passed, Christen got up to return home. Being her worrisome self, she had already started to fret about their date the next day, including what in the world she would wear. “So uh what do you think I should wear for our date tomorrow?” she asked with a slight emphasis on the second to last word. 

Tobin followed with a cheeky but predictable comment, “You look perfect in anything but something casual. Don’t worry, we aren’t going to a Michelin starred restaurant.” Tobin then reached for the door to see her new friend out. 

“See you tomorrow and thank you for letting me use your TV. Seriously, I don’t know what I would have done if I missed this episode.” Christen mumbled softly as Tobin escorted her out the door. 

“Can’t wait!” Tobin hollered down the hall with a laugh as she stood watching Christen head towards the elevators


	5. five: frozen in our memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen never really thought the day would come. An actual date. And not just a date, a date with a GIRL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song: we never die by juke ross  
> also kinda inspired by am i lovable by adam ragsdale

Christen thought the day would never come. An actual date. And not just a date, a date with a GIRL.

All through her high school years, Christen had tried to instill within her mind that she was into guys. She was a beautiful, young woman, and getting guys came with zero challenge, but she found that it never felt right. Her friends always wondered why she never was in a long-term relationship, as the vast majority of the boys in her class would have killed to be her boyfriend. But she warded them off and friend-zoned just about every single one. It never came to her that women dating women was a possibility until she left for college. During that time she was dealing with other progressively weighted issues related to her mental health, so it had been shelved for the time being.

Following her four-year undergraduate experience at Stanford, Christen assumed that girls were the ones that attracted her most, and that presumption was confirmed after her first encounter with Tobin Heath. Now, she simply felt pleased to have met someone that allowed her to experience the slightest amount of what it’s like to love someone wholeheartedly. 

As she did her hair and put on a small, yet noticeable amount of makeup, she smiled into the mirror, thinking over her struggles with her sexuality and what they meant. For the first time in a while, she sensed comfort inside herself. No one could change her mind about the inescapable charm of women now.

After mulling over her outfit for an embarrassing allotment of time, she finally decided on a black, mini length creped dress. She figured it was the perfect combo- casual, but still date material. She paired it with some white leather sneakers for comfort and to be sure she wasn’t overdoing it.

\--

Tobin picked out her classic black ripped jeans, and a white knotted crop that showed the slightest sliver of her toned midsection. She got herself ready in just under ten minutes, which was probably merely a fraction of the time Christen spent examining herself in the mirror. Tobin left her house, grabbed her phone and keys and made her way towards Christen’s apartment building. A few hours before, Tobin had taken a walk down to the supermarket to purchase some magenta flowers for Christen. She arrived at 2:58 pm, two minutes before the time they had set. She contemplated waiting until 3, but having known Christen for a week, Tobin was certain she had been ready hours ago and was just sitting on her couch in fretting over the hours to come. 

Tobin knocked three times on the door and within a small amount of time, the doorknob turned, revealing a beautiful girl in a charming black dress that hugged her body to perfection. 

“Hello,” Tobin greeted as she looked Christen up and down.

“Hi! You look amazing,” Christen returned, flashing a bright toothy grin.

“You do too, so beautiful,” she said pulling out the bouquet of roses from behind herself. “For you,” she said as if they were in a 1950s rom-com.

“Thank you, Tobin. This is really sweet. You want to come in for a second while I put these in some water?”

“Sure, we can’t stay long though, wouldn’t want to shorten our time set for the sublime date I have planned.”

Christen chuckled, “Very modest of you, how are you so sure I’m going to enjoy it?” Christen asked, cheekily.

“Very funny.”

“I’m just playing, I know I will love whatever you planned.”

With that, Christen set the flowers in a vase on her marble countertop, and they were on their way. 

It was the best possible day for a date. The sun shone brightly and left a smooth glimmer through Tobin’s windshield onto Christen’s tanned skin. Only a few clouds hung over the sky, which Tobin appreciated as she hoped that a nice sunset would emerge later, to form a nice end to the date. 

“I realize you just moved here, but have you been to the rose gardens?” Tobin asked as they pulled off of Christen’s street.

Christen’s soft voice put Tobin at ease, “Nope, but I would love to see them.”

The rose gardens were a bit touristy for her taste, but Tobin figured as a classic stopping point for any Portland visitor, it was necessary for Christen to see them. She was happy the girl had not been, as it would have put her methodical plan slightly astray. Tobin also remembered that it was reaching the end of the rose blooming period, and if they didn’t go now, Christen wouldn’t be able to see the gardens until the next spring.

It was a short drive from Christen’s apartment complex. The two made some small talk over the layout of the city as they drove through its various distinct neighborhoods. Tobin did her best to point out a few of her favorite spots as she wanted Portland to feel like home to Christen the way it does for her. 

Tobin pulled into a tight parking spot within a short walking distance to the garden’s entrance. Christen was instantly stunned by the scenery and Tobin’s date preparations minutes into the date. 

Nonchalantly, Tobin reached out her hand for the other girl to take, and Christen grabbed onto it almost instantaneously. She felt so content at the moment; her fingers intertwined with a beautiful brunette that she could’ve never pictured herself with. They let go of each other all of two times throughout the entire date. The possibility of being with a girl still felt far-fetched to Christen, but in that moment most of the remnants of doubt left inside her washed out.

“Beautiful, right?” Tobin said as they weaved in and out of the plentiful rows of roses. 

“Yes,” Christen hastily responded as she squeezed Tobin’s fingers against her own. “This place is amazing, you’re amazing. I appreciate you bringing me here.”

\--

They spent an hour in the park, hand in hand, admiring the beauty of nature. The sun beat down on them, causing their skin to glimmer with intensity. Tobin stopped along the path, pausing to treasure Christen’s natural beauty in the light of day. It confused Christen, “Is something wrong?” Christen’s perceptiveness of the thoughts and feelings of others made Tobin feel bad, as she often seemed uneasy.

“No, Christen,” she started. “I was just taking a break to admire you. You look gorgeous in the sunlight.” They looked deep into each other’s eyes for a moment but Christen soon looked away, her cheeks flushed as she internalized the compliment. Tobin’s words never failed to make her heart flutter. She pulled their hands upwards, leaving a small kiss along the top of Tobin’s hand. “Thank you.”

\--

“So where are we headed next?” Christen asked, unable to hide her excitement, as Tobin faced towards her, smiling.

“It’s a surprise,” Tobin replied.

“Fine, but it better be good,” Christen fired back, stubbornly.

Minutes later, Tobin pulled into a street parking spot in Downtown Portland. Her vision for a perfect date encompassed multiple steps which would allow her to get to know Christen better and vice versa. “I thought we could just walk around downtown and maybe you’ll let me tell you a few embarrassing stories from my college days.”

“Sounds great. I would love to hear about teenage Tobin,” responded Christen with a concealed giggle.

And that’s what happened. The two lovers wandered down the paved sidewalks, arm in arm, discussing a variety of things, the majority of which included Christen teasing Tobin over her foolish actions back in her UofP days. Christen loved every minute. Tobin reminiscing over her “glory days” was insanely amusing, yet also unabashedly adorable to her. She also appreciated walking around the city as it allowed her to get a better sense of her new home.

After they spent a countless amount of time wandering aimlessly around the district, Tobin began to feel a little selfish. They had focused all their time on her, and she wanted to get to know the girl that sparked her eye in the coffee shop. “So, Christen, we’ve been talking about me this whole time. Tell me about your home.”

“I grew up in Southern California, it was everything I could have ever dreamed of. A loving family, two supportive parents, a nice home. I really miss them all, my whole family has stuck around down there and I’m kinda the only one that’s away right now. Gets lonely without them.”

“Yeah, I totally get that. Before you know it though, Portland will be like home. I know at first it feels like you don’t belong, but I know you’ll find a place for yourself here. I mean you kind of already have, you know taking yoga classes and stuff.”

“I think so too. It’s nice here, and I’m not just saying that because you live here,” Christen said with a cheeky grin as they turned the corner. 

“Yeah yeah, next time you can say what you really believe. I know you are just enjoying Portland because of me,” Tobin teased back.

Christen eventually shared a few stories of her own. Their time consumed by them sharing stories and experiences that they would not dare spill to anyone else.

\--

As the sun lowered in the sky and their legs grew tired, Tobin directed them towards some of the best food carts and trucks in the city. Each one cooked up some delicious food, which Tobin would devour every day if she was able. She led them up to a silvery blue vintage truck, and the two girls ordered three tacos each. Tobin was buddies with the guy that ran the truck, Jeffrey, and he always gave her a discount. “Thanks, Jeff!” Tobin called out as he handed her two drinks and some chips and salsa. Christen found them a bright yellow picnic table where they sat down. 

A few minutes later Jeff called out their names and Tobin hopped up from the table to grab the food. After she sat back down at the table, she noticed the hints of nervousness behind Christen’s facial expressions. It was the first date, and nerves were a given, but she looked so uneasy. Tobin just wanted them to be comfortable together. “Is everything ok? you seem a little tense.” Tobin asked.

“I’m ok. These tacos look delicious,” Christen shot back, trying to change the subject. Tobin wouldn’t take that for an answer. She saw right through the girl and could see her mind running a million miles per minute behind their surface-level conversation.

“Really, Christen, just tell me what’s bothering you.”

“It’s just uh,” she was hesitant with her answer. “I haven’t felt this feeling around anyone I’ve ever talked to. Ever. I think I’m just flustered by the newness and what might happen between us and the fact I could fuck it up.”

“Christen—” Tobin tried to cut in, but she wouldn’t allow it.

“Of course I’ve had small crushes and flings, but Tobin, you feel so different. You make me feel things I never have before. I don’t really know how to deal with these feels, to be honest.”

Tobin’s breathed hitched as the girl’s words made waves over her whole body. She reached out and motioned for Christen’s hands and she looked deeply into the viridescent rainforest that was her eyes. “Somehow you are everything to me and I just met you,” Tobin started with a reassuring tone. “I just need you to know I feel the same way about you. Yes, I am scared out of my mind that I could lose your angel heart, but we just need to have trust. Just trust me, Christen. Please.”

“Okay,” Christen replied, offering a half-hearted smile.

“I don’t want any of this to ruin our time together, though. So what do ya say we devour these tacos and then go enjoy the sunset together. And put all your doubts away. I know you will never believe it, but everything about you is perfect the way it is. You are so worth it. Let your mind rest for me.” Tobin knew the way Christen saw herself. She didn’t see any beauty within her, and Tobin just wanted to be the one to change that. 

“Nobody has ever put it that way.” Christen’s heart swelled. Tobin’s had a way with words for sure.

The women did just that. They consumed every bite of the street tacos until their stomachs were begging them to stop.

\--

They cleared off their table and arm in arm walked towards the waterfront that sat along the Wilamette River. They then found a nice grassy area and sat down facing the water. It was one of Tobin’s favorite spots to enjoy a sunset.

The sun lowered in the sky and an orange-gold tint spread far and wide. They fixated both their eyes on the horizon, the fiery mix of colors casting golden light onto their faces. The river flowed freely, striped in bands of pink and orange caused by the sun’s reflective projections. Sunsets were Tobin’s favorite part of the day, and something she always looked forward to. She was so grateful that now she was sharing this one with a beautiful girl. Her presence was all she needed. Tobin wished she could stay there forever and never move a muscle as in a perfect world, that’s what it would be. 

> Baby let the sunset blind our eyes
> 
> Cause I don’t wanna see you say goodbye

They were quiet just embracing the scenery, but Tobin broke the silence. 

“I know it’s just the first date,” Tobin paused and looked down at her feet,. “But I have been dying to kiss you since the first morning I saw you walk into the coffee shop, looking extremely tired but somehow beautiful in every way.”

Taken aback, Christen inhaled and smiled softly, “Really?”

Tobin took notice of her hesitancy, “Yes, but if you’re not ready, it’s just fine. We can take things slow.”

She quickly interjected, “No, I’m dying to kiss you, Tobin. It’s just I’ve never kissed a girl before.” She said it like it was the worst thing that Tobin would ever hear. 

“Christen, I don’t care. Every experience I have had with you has been perfect, you are an absolute dream who you have or haven’t kissed doesn’t matter to me in the slightest.”

It was then that Christen realized how deep the compassion inside Tobin’s heart extended. Her thoughtful words sent a surge of electricity down Christen’s spine, building up her courage in the act. She looked up from her feet into Tobin’s honey brown eyes, “Then kiss me.”

Tobin’s deep gaze is fervent and powerful, sending Christen soaring into a hazy state of true desire. Christen blinks, and before she has time to think, she feels the gentle sensation of Tobin’s lips against hers. 

They kissed deeply. Deeper than Christen could have ever imagined. She stayed still at first, but soon she allowed herself to give in, letting her hands wander over Tobin’s toned shoulders and neck. Their tongues danced together as they reveled in the kiss. They both had been craving the feeling more than anything. All previous tension that stood between them melted away, leaving them in pure disbelief at the sensation of it all. _‘Please let her belong to me,’_ thought Christen as their lips slowly pulled away after what seemed like the perfect amount of time. Just as she had anticipated, her afternoon with Tobin was made up of everything good in the world. 

They sat there, fingers laced together until the sun could no longer be found and nighttime was among them. For a short time, neither of them said anything. Christen pressed her cheek against Tobin’s shoulder, a smile overcame and she became giddy with overwhelming happiness.

> We should keep this moment stuck on ice
> 
> Frozen in our memories

The city lights grew bright, and their spirits were lifted. They felt complete in each other’s arms- like they could never ever let go. 

> When daylight ends
> 
> Gonna hold you close and breathe you in

\--

Eventually, the sky was pitch black, forcing them to walk back towards Tobin’s car. Christen was happy that there was little light as her ear to ear smile caused by the woman beside her could hardly be concealed. Minutes later, they arrived back at the parking spot they had found hours before. 

Midway through the drive, Christen had a small impulse. “Hey, Tobin?”

“Yeah?” 

“Are we girlfriends?”

“I guess we could call it that, yeah. Is that what you want?”

“I think so,” Christen replied looking hopefully into Tobin’s loving eyes as they stopped at a red light.

\--

“Is it ok if I walk you up?” Tobin asked as she pulled into the apartment’s parking lot.

“Of course.”

Tobin couldn’t hold back her smile as they climbed onto the elevator. Christen wanted to be her girlfriend, and that fact made her explode with euphoria. Within a few seconds, the metal door slid open as the couple stepped out onto Christen’s floor.

It took her a few moments to get the door open, twisting the key aggressively. She was slightly distracted as she was on cloud nine after the kiss and their conversation in the car ride over. The door then popped open and Christen turned back to look up into Tobin’s eyes as she blushed. “Thank you for tonight, it was perfect.”

“Well thank you for giving me a chance,” Tobin replied as she leaned in and Christen’s lips met hers. The kiss was short and sweet, but just enough to leave both girls breathless and dumbfounded by each other’s beauty.

\--

For once in her life, Christen felt so loved. Doubts ran through her blood and the expanse of her body. She had always asked herself, ‘Am I loveable.’ The demons inside her head told her no, but Tobin was the first to tell her yes. And it was the best realization in the world. 

Christen’s anxiety was so crippling, though all that weight felt lifted with Tobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the support!


End file.
